Scars
by drisles
Summary: Discoveries and confessions after Jane and Maura's first night together.


A/N: Prompt from the lovely hownowwit: "And when did this happen?" (minus the and).

* * *

Early one Sunday morning, Jane woke up to the most beautiful view.

Maura Isles. In her bed.

She didn't understand it, honestly. How this woman, who she'd seen on a daily basis, looking perfect and so well put together, could be even more beautiful with tousled hair and no makeup. She also didn't understand how a woman like Maura was with a woman like her, but she was thankful and promised herself to enjoy every second of it, just in case it all ended up to be a wonderful (and very cruel) dream.

Last night had been… amazing. She and Maura had finally consummated their relationship after years of pretending that what they had was just friendship, which is probably why last night had been so rushed. Passionate. Raw. Years of pent up sexual tension was a hard thing to take slow, but god was it ever good. If Jane had her way, the two would never be getting out of bed.

Rolling onto her side and propping herself up on an elbow, she took the opportunity to commit the moment to memory; to count the freckles on Maura's cheeks; to watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest; to slowly trail her eyes over limbs left exposed by the tangled cotton sheet… a leg, an arm, freckled shoulders and the tops of her breasts. Beautiful.

Unable to resist only looking and not touching, Jane reached out with her hand to brush a lock of sandy curls away from Maura's face before leaning in and placing a kiss to her temple. Dropping her elbow, she curled in on her side and watched in awe as the medical examiner began to stir.

 _Adorable_. It was the only word Jane could think of as she watched Maura stretch her arms and squint her eyes at the harsh sunlight filtering in across the room. She couldn't stop the smile that formed on her lips as she watched the moment of confusion flicker across Maura's face when she realized she wasn't wearing any clothes.

The moment she remembered why.

The smile that brightened Maura's features was a look Jane would never forget.

When Maura turned on her side and met Jane's gaze, they both laughed at the closeness of their noses.

"Hi," Maure greeted Jane quietly. A little bashful.

"Good morning," Jane answered as she ghosted her fingertips over Maura's arm, never breaking eye contact.

* * *

They remained quiet, content to just look at each other and let their hands explore.

"I like waking up like this," Maura admitted after a while, breaking the silence.

"Me too," Jane agreed and leaned in to kiss the corner of Maura's mouth.

"How long have you been awake?" the doctor asked, scooting closer until their knees touched.

Jane shrugged, "Twenty minutes or so."

"You should've woke me," Maura replied and Jane had to stop herself from smiling. Of course Maura would feel guilty for enjoying twenty extra minutes of sleep.

"It's ok. I like watching you sleep." Jane's eyes widened as the words left her mouth. "Oh my god, that sounds so creepy. I'm sorry."

Maura laughed lightly and trailed her hand up Jane's back. "I don't think it's creepy. It's sweet."

Jane scrunched up her nose.

"I won't tell anyone," Maura teased. "I know you have a reputation to uphold.

"Good," Jane replied jokingly before gently rolling Maura onto her back and kissing her below the ear. Her jaw. Her chin and down her throat.

"Mmm," escaped Maura's lips as her hands slid down Jane's back, her nails gently pressing into tan skin.

"You don't have any plans today, do you?" Jane asked, her lips closing in on a spot on Maura's neck. A spot that Jane had recently learned turned Maura into putty.

"Only," Maura breathed, "…only ones involving you and this bed."

Jane smiled against bruising skin. _Oops_. As she continued her exploration of Maura's throat, down her chest and back up again, she pulled away when a sliver of puckered skin on the underside of Maura's chin caught her attention.

"What?" Maura asked, looking up at the detective.

Jane answered by tracing the white line with her index finger. "When did this happen?"

Confused, Maura brought her own hand up to the spot Jane was touching. "Oh," she suddenly realized. "I was… five, maybe six. There was this new yellow slide on the playground, and all the other kids were so excited to go down it," she said with a fleeting smile. "So of course, I wanted to join them."

Jane repositioned herself so her left leg was resting between Maura's thighs and once again propped herself up on an elbow to look down at her girlfriend. She moved her hand from the scar to Maura's face and gently stroked her thumb over a flushed cheek.

"I was so excited at the chance to fit in that I lost my footing, tripped up the steps and split open my chin." She let out a humorless laugh. "A sad metaphor for my life and trying to fit in, I suppose."

"Shh," Jane comforted her and brushed her fingers through Maura's hair. "Don't say that."

"You're right," Maura shook her head, as if the negative thoughts could escape her mind that easily, "I'm sorry. I'm ruining the mood," she laughed.

"Not possible," Jane replied and kissed Maura's lips. Another sliver of pale skin caught her eye and she brought her hand up to trace it. "It's kinda crazy, when you think about it."

Maura looked at her, confused.

"Scars, I mean," Jane clarified as she stroked the line on Maura's neck, an almost perfect replica of her own. "Crazy how such a little, almost unnoticeable blemish can tell such a story. Or a nightmare."

Maura never imagined Jane would be so… poetic.

Jane's eyes flickered from the scar to Maura's eyes, her finger still tracing the raised flesh. "One little mark on your skin… a permanent reminder of the most terrifying moment of my life."

The enormity of that statement was not lost on Maura as she thought of the matching scars on Jane's palms. Surely that moment would've been more terrifying, right?

"You saved us," Maura said quietly, her hand reaching up to touch the matching scar on Jane's neck. "I don't think of him when I see it; it doesn't bring me back to a fearful moment. I think of you. I think of how strong you are. I think about how lucky I am to have you in my life. I think of how you saved us." Her hand on Jane's back roamed until it met the puckering skin of an exit wound. "This, however," her fingertips moved in a soothing motion, " _this_ reminds me of the most terrifying moment of my life."

"I'm sorry," Jane whispered and Maura shook her head.

"You did what you had to do to save your brother," Maura assured her. "Looking back at now, I can understand it, but in the moment," she paused to take a breath, trying not to cry, "in that moment, when you pulled the trigger, I–"

"I thought you were dead," Jane interrupted without thinking.

"What?" Maura's hands stilled as she looked up at Jane, analyzing her.

Jane sighed, dropped her elbow and rolled onto her back. _Did I really say that out loud?_ she questioned.

Maura followed her, curling in against Jane's side. She waited a moment before tilting her head to look up at the detective. Her fingers went to trace comforting patterns on the soft skin below Jane's breast. "Explain it to me," she requested gently. "Please?"

Jane's silence was unnerving and Maura was worried their serene morning-after had been ruined. That is, until she felt Jane's fingers combing through her hair. Maura kissed Jane's chin before tucking her head beneath it.

"I thought you were dead," Jane repeated her confession. "When I aimed his gun at my stomach, I thought you were already dead…" her voice cracked and she took a minute to compose herself. "I didn't want to live without you－"

"Jane," Maura's voice cut in, full of emotion.

"－so I pulled the trigger," Jane finished and felt Maura's tears drip onto her neck before she felt her own blurring her vision. "And then, when I hit the ground and saw you running toward me…" she shook her head. "I was so stupid. I was so afraid of living without you that I almost made _you_ live without _me_. I was so selfish," she said before choking on a sob.

It was Maura's cue to prop herself up on her elbow and cradle Jane's cheek with her free hand. She used her thumb to wipe away tears, letting her own slide down her face and drip onto Jane's chin and neck.

"But," Jane managed after a few moments of struggling, "I think… I think seeing you, seeing that look on your face and the way you dropped to your knees beside me… you kept me alive, Maura. As cliche and unprovable as that sounds… you kept me alive. You're my reason, Maur. For everything."

"Jane," was the only word Maura could get out, her tears and emotions keeping her from forming an appropriate response. So instead, she leaned in and kissed her, hoping it conveyed everything she was feeling; everything she wanted to say. When she pulled back and looked down at Jane and saw the smile on her face, she knew the detective understood.

"God," Jane laughed, hurriedly wiping at her face. "One night as a lesbian and look at me! I'm an emotional wreck."

The statement pulled a hearty laugh from Maura's throat. "I kinda like it," she admitted and giggled when Jane tickled her side. When their eyes met, they both quickly sobered. "Thank you," Maura said quietly, "for sharing that with me."

"It's the truth."

"I know," Maura nodded. "You're my reason, too. For everything," she echoed Jane's words, prompting Jane to pull her down by the back of her neck and kiss her with everything she had. It felt good to have Maura on top of her.

"Now," Jane breathed between kisses, "as much fun as this has been… mmm, _god_ ," she lost her train of thought when Maura's tongue slid between her lips. She allowed the exploration for a few more minutes before breaking away to say, "I think that's enough confessions and emotions for one day." Maura laughed against her mouth.

"Hmm," Maura began as her lips moved from Jane's mouth to her throat, "I think I know a way to keep us distracted from our thoughts for a while," she said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhmm," Maura's voice vibrated against Jane's stomach… lips traveling lower… lower… and just as she was about to put her lips exactly where Jane wanted them, Jane blurted out:

"I love you."

So much for too many confessions.

Maura abruptly sat back, just in time to watch Jane's eyes bulge out of her head.

"I… I mean… oh my god," Jane closed her eyes. "What is happening to me today? Too soon… too soon… _fuck_ …"

"Jane," Maura tried to interrupt.

"I just ruined it, didn't I? Who says that after one night?!" Jane asked, refusing to open her eyes, even as she felt Maura travel back up her body; felt her breath on her face.

"Friends who have been avoiding the truth for far too long," Maura answered. "I love you, Jane. I've loved you for a very, _very_ long time."

Jane's eyes flew open.

"Now, unless you have any more confessions, I think it's time for you to..." Maura began and sat back to straddle Jane's thighs. She pulled the tangled sheet off their bodies, exposing herself fully to Jane, and with a slight roll of her hips, she finished her sentence with a seductive whisper, "distract me."


End file.
